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— Which Style is Best?

A Quick Guide to Parenting Styles – Which Style is Best?

There are many different ways to approach parenting. Sometimes, however, it can be a challenge to know which parenting style is the most appropriate for a child and a specific situation. Most parents will want their child to understand the boundaries they set, while also facilitating a happy, fun-filled childhood. Most will also want their children to be kind and respectful to others and become well-rounded, confident individuals. At the same time, parents will need to decide how strict or lenient they are in their parenting approach. Which style is best for the child? Terms like ‘gentle parenting’, ‘helicopter parenting’, ‘authoritative parenting’ and many others are often discussed online and in the press — but it may not be clear what each style means! That’s where today’s Quick Guide to Parenting Styles comes in. It should give parents a better idea of where their current parenting style fits in, and which style(s) may be the most beneficial for their child.

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Quick Guide to Parenting Styles

Each parenting style combines different levels of warmth, empathy, engagement, control, and structure:

  • Authoritative parenting combines a high degree of engagement and warmth towards the child, a firm structure, and clear boundaries. Not to be confused with…
  • Authoritarian parenting, which combines low warmth, very strict rules, and an extremely high degree of control over the child.
  • Gentle parenting combines high levels of empathy towards the child, respectful communication, and consistent limits. Not to be confused with…
  • Permissive parenting, which combines a high level of warmth towards the child, a low level of structure, and few enforced boundaries.
  • Uninvolved parenting combines a low level of warmth towards the child, a lack of engagement with them, and minimal, if any, structure.
  • Helicopter parenting combines high involvement and high intervention on the part of the parent, and limited independence for the child.
  • Velcro parenting is associated with high emotional closeness with the child and difficulty separating from them. It may also reciprocate to result in a ‘velcro’ baby or child.

Let’s take a closer look at each parenting style and see what the experts say.

What is Authoritative Parenting?

With authoritative parenting, parents are warm towards children, showing empathy and sensitivity. They aim to be good role models for the child. Boundaries are set through measured reasoning with children, and positive reinforcement is implemented to achieve desired standards. Punishments and threats for non-adherence to rules are avoided through such an approach, while cooperation and a level of age-appropriate maturity is nurtured.

Studies have shown that authoritative parenting has amongst the best outcomes for children, who tend to grow up academically successful, well-behaved, independent, and well-liked among peers and adults. Incidents of depression, anxiety and delinquency amongst children raised by authoritative parents are also low.

“Research suggests that the best-adjusted, best-behaved, most resourceful, and highest-achieving kids have authoritative parents — not authoritarian ones.” — parentingscience.com

Alert Alert

Do not confuse Authoritative parenting (see above) with Authoritarian parenting (see below) — they’re quite different!

What is Authoritarian Parenting?

With authoritarian parenting, the parent uses a dictatorial style that requires blind submission and total compliance from their child. High standards are demanded, and non-compliance is punished. It is not a warm approach, in any sense, and rules are expected to be followed without explanation, dialogue, support, or debate. The parent is all dominant.

While children quickly learn the rules, they often learn through fear rather than through love, reasoning, or understanding. Children brought up in authoritarian households often develop mental health problems, low levels of confidence, low self-esteem, and reduced emotional expression.

“Authoritarian parenting has been linked with the development of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.” — parentingscience.com

What is Gentle Parenting?

At the heart of gentle parenting are high levels of kindness, respect, and empathy towards the child. Children’s well-being and happiness are nurtured. The relationship between parent and child is strong and, in many ways, this parenting style is similar to authoritative (N.B. not authoritarian) parenting. Structure and boundaries are clearly set, but they are applied gently, through reasoning, in a calm and measured way — without the threat of punishment. This is especially appropriate for the youngest children, who have not yet gained full control over ‘big’ emotions.

Children brought up under a gentle parenting style tend to feel nurtured, loved, secure, and emotionally supported. Their feelings are acknowledged and respected by parents, who reason calmly with them and give them choices appropriate to their age, all within clearly defined boundaries. With gentle parenting, it’s important to maintain those limits, however, otherwise there is a risk of this parenting style drifting towards the permissive variety.

“Gentle parenting does not equate to permissiveness. It involves setting clear and consistent boundaries while offering children age-appropriate choices within those boundaries. This fosters a sense of autonomy and helps children learn to make responsible decisions” — PositivePsychology.com

What is Permissive Parenting?

The permissive parenting approach is also sometimes known as ‘indulgent parenting’. With this style, parents are warm, sensitive, and emotionally responsive towards their children and, as one might expect, studies show that that’s good for them. However, permissive parenting is also associated with a lack of set boundaries and structure — and that can lead to problems. Because children of permissive parents self regulate, they may be perceived by others to be rather out of control, lacking in self-discipline, and falling short of the usual behaviour standards expected by most.

That said, children of permissive parents may turn out quite resourceful and have high self-esteem. And, because permissive parents prioritise happiness in their children, it stands to reason that they often have immense fun as they grow up. The lack of imposed boundaries can, however, be a double-edged sword — not least when it comes to things like safety, behaviour, and self-control. Indeed, some studies found that children brought up in permissive households can have disruptive behaviour and even elevated levels of aggression compared, say, to children raised in authoritative households.

“Permissive parents aren’t demanding. They don’t assign their kids many responsibilities, and they don’t encourage kids to meet adult-imposed behaviour standards. Instead, they allow — as much as possible — kids to regulate themselves.” — parentingscience.com

What is Uninvolved Parenting?

Uninvolved parenting (also sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting) is associated with a disconnect between the parent and child. There is little, if any, affection, empathy, or engagement towards the child, who is left very much to their own devices. Parents do not attempt to be good role models, and there is little or no structure and guidance for the child. This may be for a variety of reasons, for example, due to parental illness, the pressures of work, lack of other support, and so on. So, rather than jump to judging uninvolved parents, it’s important to first understand the reasons behind the situation and appraise the availability of potential help.

Studies indicate that children of uninvolved parents tend to have the least positive outcomes compared to those brought up under the other parenting styles. Children may have behavioural issues, lack emotional security, have low self-esteem, and perhaps have attachment struggles. On the other side of the coin, however, learning to grow up without parental support may force them to become very independent and, through necessity, good problem solvers.

“There is overwhelming evidence that kids need parental warmth to thrive. Nurturing, responsive parenting leads to better emotional, cognitive, and behavioural outcomes.” — parentingscience.com

What is Helicopter Parenting?

The term helicopter parenting is often seen in the press and on social media. It refers to a parenting style where the parent hovers over everything a child does, intervening constantly, and being deeply involved in everything the child does. Every move is micro-managed.

While this parenting style may result in the child feeling well-supported and protected by the parent, the child has limited independence and autonomy under this style. They may even have tendencies towards a feeling of entitlement. Children of helicopter parents may not have the space to fully develop skills like problem-solving, self-reliance, resilience, confidence, independence, and learning through trial and error. Some studies even suggest an association with later incidence of anxiety and/or depression.

“This intense focus can negatively impact a child’s mental health, self-image, coping skills, and more.” — Parents.com

What is Velcro Parenting?

Velcro parenting is another term that you sometimes hear about in the press and on social media. It refers to a style where the parent forms an unusually strong closeness to the child — emotionally, physically, and even socially. They constantly avoid separation from the child and, indeed, one of the results of this is that the child can sometimes reciprocate to become a ‘velcro baby’ or ‘velcro child’.

This parenting style forms close bonds between parent and child. The child is likely to feel deeply loved, nurtured, emotionally secure, and well cared for. However, an unintended consequence of this parenting style is that it can potentially lead to separation anxiety in the child, for example, when they start nursery or school. Children of velcro parents may also be lacking in skills like independence, resilience, and confidence.

“The problem emerges when parents stay too close for too long, which results in children and teens feeling less confident, more anxious and more dependent on the parent to make decisions or soothe every discomfort.” — Ann-Louise Lockhart, paediatric psychologist

Final Thoughts

So, from gentle and authoritative to helicopter, velcro, permissive parenting and more, today’s quick guide should serve to help parents better understand the key parenting styles that we hear about so often. By understanding them, parents can implement approaches that optimise confidence, independence, emotional well-being, and good behaviour in their children. That said, it’s important to understand that there is no single rulebook that fits every family, child, stage of development, or situation perfectly. What works beautifully for one infant may feel completely different with a more curious toddler, or an increasingly independent preschooler, for example. Parents may therefore not fit neatly into just one category. Many of us move between styles depending on the day, our child’s age, our own energy levels and what life is throwing at us at any given time. Today’s guide to parenting styles is therefore here to support knowledge, reflection, reassurance and confidence — not perfection.

Little Acorns Nursery, Padiham

High Quality Weekday Childcare Near Burnley

Little Acorns Nursery & Preschool is in Padiham, Lancashire, near Hapton, Rose Grove, Burnley, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham, and Wood End. Ofsted rates Little Acorns Nursery, Padiham, as a Good Provider of childcare in all categories.If you have a baby or child under five and need a high-quality childcare service in Padiham or near Burnley, Little Acorns Nursery would make a wonderful choice. At our lovely home-from-home setting, we nurture every child to bring out the best in them — to give them the best start in life. Rated as a ‘Good Provider’ by Ofsted, the nursery also supports free childcare funding for eligible families.

Interested in a nursery place at Little Acorns, Padiham? Get in touch using one of the following options to take the first step — we’ll be delighted to hear from you:

Our Padiham location, close to Burnley, may also suit families living nearby in Hapton, Rose Grove, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham, or Wood End.

 

The Essential Guide to Primary School Applications

Parents of 3- and 4-year-olds have limited time in which to apply for a school place for their child. Primary school applications need to be received by mid-January at the latest, which is earlier than for secondary schools. And, for parents who are deferring a child’s school start until they’re five, don’t be fooled into thinking you have more time for your application — you simply don’t! In today’s Essential Guide to Primary School Applications we outline the key dates, rules, and advice to help parents submit applications on time, increase chances of receiving an offer for a preferred school, and avoid disappointment.

When do Parents Need to Apply for a Primary School Place?

The standard deadline for primary school applications is the 15th of January.Primary school applications need to be submitted while the child is three or, at the very latest, has very recently had their fourth birthday. Because applications received on time are processed first, failure to apply by the due date means a child is less likely to receive an offer for their preferred school — places may no longer be available that late in the day.

The application deadline itself is January the 15th at 11:59 pm. Note, however, that it’s usually different for ‘in-year’ applications* where a child may, for example, have moved into a new area mid-year. At the time of writing (late November), there is therefore only limited time remaining for applications, so time is of the essence if your child is three or recently became four.

What if I Want My Child to Start Primary School at the Age of 5 Not 4?

Most children in England begin Primary School when they’re four. However, from a legal standpoint, children can defer starting school to when they reach Compulsory School Age which, in essence, arrives on or soon after they have turned five. It’s a personal choice and perhaps more of a conundrum for summer-born children whose birthdays fall between the beginning of April and the end of August. These children would either be amongst the youngest in the year if they begin school at the age of four, or amongst the oldest if they begin at the age of five. What’s more, it is not be up to the parents whether a child deferring until five goes into Reception Year with mostly younger children — or info Year One with mostly older children. That decision is made by local authorities and schools although the child’s abilities, needs, and best interests will be important decision factors.

Whether they start school at 4 or 5, a child’s Primary School Application must be submitted while the child is three or, at the very latest, has just reached the age of four.

That’s important, so don’t be caught out if you are deferring your child’s start until they’re five.

*In-year applications

This guide focuses primarily on primary school applications made for children starting at the beginning of the standard academic year (in the September term). Applications made outside of the standard timing are also possible, for example, for a family that moves house in the middle of an academic year. For such scenarios, it’s important to realise that some of the rules and timings are different. Deadlines, for example, may not be the same and alternative or even additional applications forms may be required in some circumstances. It’s similar for those who missed the mid-January application deadline as such families will need to fill in and submit a late application form. Priority for places, however, is usually given to those who applied on time by the standard mid-January deadline. More details about late and in-year applications will be available on your local authority website.

How to Select Your Preferred Primary School(s)

Choosing a primary school that's conveniently close makes sense.Choosing a primary school for a child is an important step for any family. Somewhere conveniently close makes sense — and indeed is one of the most important criteria for offers, as we’ll see later. After all, you don’t want to be late dropping off or picking up your child because you’re stuck in a traffic jam miles away. Somewhere local will also mean your child has friends who are conveniently close by, which is another good thing. And, of course, if your child’s sibling already attends, then that school would usually be a natural first choice, assuming you’re happy with it of course.

Parents/carers will also want to gather feedback from parents whose children already attend schools on their radar. Ofsted reports and performance tables are also a gold mine of information. Online ratings and reviews by previous or existing parents are also useful indicators to consider.

One of the best things a parent can do, however, is visit the contending schools, particularly if the child accompanies them. Open days/evenings are great but some schools also accept appointments. Ask teachers and heads any questions to learn as much as you can about each school. Ask yourself questions too. How does the school feel? Does it have a good atmosphere? Can you see your child fitting in? What did your child think about it on their visit? Does the school have all the kinds of facilities and resources that you’d like your child to have access to? Do they cater well if your child has SEND if applicable? Is the school too small, too large, or just right? How do children do there? All these questions need consideration and a visit will help answer them.

You will need to select three schools on your application, so ensure you research and visit several so that you can make an informed choice. It’s important to get it right, particularly for the sake of your child.

A hugely worthwhile measure for parents to take is to check whether schools on their shortlist are likely to be oversubscribed. Data from previous years is likely to be a good indicator of this and usually such information can be supplied by local authority admissions staff and/or schools themselves. If a school on a parent’s shortlist has a history of being oversubscribed, then it’s very wise to ensure that at least one other school on a parent’s shortlist is not. Otherwise, if three oversubscribed schools are marked down on the application form it’s likely to lead to disappointment and an offer from a school that has perhaps not even been considered.

Although parents can specify their three preferred schools, in order of preference, the final decision is not theirs. The final offer is decided for their child by local admission authorities in tandem with schools although the parent’s list of preferred schools, and the order they’re listed, will be taken into consideration.

What are the Eligibility Criteria?

Although the eligibility criteria for school places are not identical for all locations, there are several factors that are fairly standard.While the eligibility criteria for school places are not identical for all locations, there are several factors that are fairly standard. For example, schools closest to a child and those where a sibling already attends are usually favoured. Children may also be more likely to be accepted at a school where a parent has worked for 2 or more years. Church/faith schools are often also more likely to accept children who share the same faith. Additional school admissions criteria can be found here.

How to Apply for a Primary School Place

Once you’ve decided on your three preferred primary schools and your preferred order, make your application by the mid-January deadline. This is done through your local authority website although be aware that some ‘non-catchment’ schools, including faith-based schools (e.g. Catholic) and academies may require a supplementary form to be submitted. Summer-born children deferring until five may also need to submit an extra form and submit it by the same January deadline. Research will be required on the part of the parent/carer in such scenarios to ensure all application requirements are met.

Include a Valid Email Address

Include a valid email address on your application. By so doing, you’ll receive your offer as quickly as possible. Those not including one will be notified by post, so are likely to receive their offer several days later than they might otherwise have done.

How to Accept an Offer

The generally-accepted wisdom is to accept whichever school is offered. That’s so that your child has a school place to fall back on even if you appeal, change your mind, or put your child on the waiting list for a different school (all are options). Accepting an offer will not adversely affect an appeal, by the way, so there’s nothing to lose by ensuring your child has the original offer secured.

Offers need to be accepted by the acceptance deadline specified on the offer communication received. Failure to accept in time may mean the offered place is withdrawn and given to a different child, so this is important.

When Do Parents Receive Their Child’s School Offer?

Primary school offers for those who applied on time are released on the 16th of April or the next working day if that falls on a weekend or public holiday.Primary school offers are first sent, by email, to those who applied on time and included a valid email address on their forms. Offers to such families are released on the morning of the 16th of April or the next working day if that happens to fall on a weekend or public holiday. Others who supplied an email address on their application, but who applied late in respect of the 15 January deadline, will usually receive offers via email the same day, although later on. Others, without an email address specified on applications, will receive offers via Second Class post, so are likely to see offers later than the 16th of April. Some local authorities, however, allow people to log onto a portal to view offers from that date. Note that those applying ‘in-year’ receive offers on different dates to the standard ones specified above.

The good news is that most families receive an offer for a school that they listed as one of their three preferences. Only a tiny percentage do not and, indeed, in 2023 that percentage was just 1.4%. Local authorities have a duty in such cases to offer a child an alternative school place. This is usually the closest one with an available space.

Little Acorns Nursery: Helping Under-5s Become School-Ready in Padiham

Little Acorns Nursery & Preschool is in Padiham, Lancashire, near Hapton, Rose Grove, Burnley, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham and Wood End. Little Acorns Nursery is a wonderful childcare service in Padiham, and convenient for families nearby in Hapton, Rose Grove, Burnley, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham and Wood End in Lancashire. At Little Acorns Nursery, babies, toddlers and children under five are looked after, valued, loved and given a fabulous early years education. Our learning and development programme is designed to bring out the best in them. We nurture them in every area of the curriculum and their personal development so that, by the time they leave us, they’re the best version of themselves and school-ready. In this way, they’ll hit the ground running when they begin primary school and are set up for success.

To learn more about a place for your child at Little Acorns Nursery in Padiham, get in touch today, apply for a place, or arrange for a visit to see this wonderful setting for yourself. We’ll be pleased to welcome you and your little one to the Little Acorns family.

Free Childcare for 2-Year-Olds in England (a Quick Guide for Parents)

Today we explain the Government’s free childcare funding scheme for eligible 2-year-olds. While it’s not as universally available as the childcare funding scheme for 3- and 4-year-olds, there are still a significant number of children who will be able to benefit from this scheme for children aged two. And, by starting their early years education no later than this specific age, children are known to boost personal bests, social skills, cognitive development and even life outcomes — in many profound ways. (More information on the benefits of starting an early years education early is available here). What’s more, this particular funding is aimed at 2-year-olds that are disadvantaged in some way, so it can help to level up the playing field for them.

So, how does the scheme work, which 2-year-olds are eligible for the free funding and how do families access it? In today’s guide to Free Childcare for 2-Year-Olds in England, we explain everything you need to know and answer all such questions.

What Childcare Funding Can Eligible 2-Year-Olds Get?

Eligible 2-year-olds can get a total of 570 free childcare hours during the course of a year.Eligible 2-year-olds can get a total of 570 free childcare hours during the course of a year. The entitlement is usually taken as 15 hours per week over 38 ‘term time’ weeks. However, families may wish to ask childcare providers if they can use the hours in a different way. For example, some may wish to stretch the hours out over 50 or so weeks of the year, in which case it would equate to approximately 11½ free hours per week. The nursery or childcare provider would need to confirm what’s possible. Any extra hours will need to be paid for by the family and the same is usually true for things like nappies, special trips and meals. Even so, 570 free childcare hours should really help families and may allow a stay-at-home parent to get back into the workplace sooner, even if only part-time.

How is the Childcare Funding Accessed?

The funding is paid directly to the childcare setting, which must be an officially-registered provider and one that’s signed up to offer such free places. They must also be recognised by Ofsted as ‘Good’ or ‘Outstanding’. Nurseries, preschools, accredited childminders, Sure Start Children’s Centres and even some playgroups may be able to access the funding if they fit all the appropriate criteria. Contact your childcare provider about free childcare funding for your 2-year-old when you apply for a nursery place. If you are applying to Little Acorns Nursery in Padiham, you can apply for a place here. Your child can access the free childcare funding in the term that follows their 2nd birthday. Terms start in September, January and April.

Eligibility for 2-year-old Childcare Funding

There are essentially three routes to eligibility for the free childcare funding:

  1. If the parent/household is receiving one or more specific Government benefits, and/or…
  2. If the child is disadvantaged in one or more specific ways, and/or…
  3. If you are a non-UK citizen in England, cannot claim benefits and have a household income below a certain threshold. We’ll take a more detailed look at the criteria below.

1. Eligibility Criteria for Parents/Households

2-year-olds living in England may be eligible if their parents/household are in receipt of one or more specific Government benefits.Children aged two that live in England may be eligible if their parents/household are in receipt of one or more specific Government benefits. These include:

  • JSA (Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance), which is an unemployment benefit that’s available while looking for work.
  • Income-related ESA (Employment and Support Allowance), which people may be claiming if they have a reduced ability to work e.g. through disability or sickness.
  • Income Support, which is a financial benefit aimed at those on low or non-existent incomes.
  • Universal Credit with a maximum annual household income no greater than £15,400 after tax (excludes benefits). This is a benefit that helps people with living costs if they are on low incomes or out of work.
  • The guaranteed part of Pension Credit, which may be available to help with living costs if you’re above State Pension age and have a low income.
  • Working Tax Credit* and/or Child Tax Credit with an annual, before-tax, household income no greater than £16,190. These also help people on low incomes.

* Includes those claiming for the 4-week run-on payment that occurs when qualifying for Working Tax Credits ceases.

2. Eligibility Criteria for Disadvantaged Children

Disadvantaged or disabled 2-year-olds may be eligible for the free childcare hours.If none of the benefit-related criteria above applies, children aged 2 may still qualify for the childcare funding scheme in the following circumstances:

  • They receive Disability Living Allowance (DLA);
  • They are subject to an EHC (Education, Health & Care) plan;
  • A local authority looks after them;
  • They have left care but are subject to a Child Arrangements Order, Special Guardianship Order, or Adoption Order.

3. Eligibility Criteria for non-UK Citizens Not Claiming Benefits

Some 2-year-olds living in England who are non-UK citizens may be able to claim for free childcare if their households cannot claim benefits and household income is below a certain threshold.The last category of eligible claimants is some 2-year-olds living in England who are non-UK citizens, whose households cannot claim benefits and whose household income is below a certain threshold. Thresholds vary from £26,500 to £38,600 depending on how many children the family has and whether they live inside or outside of London.

  • For those living in London, household income must be no more than £34,500 if you have one child or £38,600 if you have more.
  • For those living outside London, household income must be no more than £26,500 if you have one child or £30,600 if you have more than one.
  • Savings or investments must total no more than £16k in each case.

Your local council can give you more information.

Changes Coming to Childcare Funding for 2-Year-Olds

In March 2023, the Chancellor of the Exchequer unveiled plans for childcare funding reforms in his Spring Budget. These include an expansion of the ‘free hours’ to around 285,000 more 2-year-olds from April 2024 and to around 640,000 children aged from just 9 months from September 2024. We’ll write a separate article here about the pending changes in the near future. In the meantime, you can read our sister nursery’s guide to the coming childcare funding reforms here.

Little Acorns Nursery & Preschool, Padiham

The Best Start for Your Baby, Toddler, or Preschooler in Padiham, Lancashire

Little Acorns Nursery & Pre-School is in Padiham, Lancashire, near Hapton, Rose Grove, Burnley, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham and Wood End.

Little Acorns is a nursery and preschool that offers the highest quality weekday childcare for babies and children under five. As well as offering them a home-from-home environment where they are loved and nurtured, we give every child a wonderful early years education. Our childcare professionals, equipment, facilities and curriculum will bring out the best in every child and give them the tools to thrive and be successful. If you would like to register for a childcare place, arrange a visit with your child, or discuss questions you may have, please simply get in touch and we’ll be happy to help:

Apply for a Place Book a Tour Message Us 01282 680 822

Little Acorns Nursery is located in Padiham, Lancashire (BB12).  As well as being convenient to families in Padiham, we may also suit those looking for a high-quality nursery or preschool in Hapton, Rose Grove, Burnley, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham, or Wood End.

Information is understood to be correct at the time of writing (April 2023). Please check here for the latest information.