— Which Style is Best?
There are many different ways to approach parenting. Sometimes, however, it can be a challenge to know which parenting style is the most appropriate for a child and a specific situation. Most parents will want their child to understand the boundaries they set, while also facilitating a happy, fun-filled childhood. Most will also want their children to be kind and respectful to others and become well-rounded, confident individuals. At the same time, parents will need to decide how strict or lenient they are in their parenting approach. Which style is best for the child? Terms like ‘gentle parenting’, ‘helicopter parenting’, ‘authoritative parenting’ and many others are often discussed online and in the press — but it may not be clear what each style means! That’s where today’s Quick Guide to Parenting Styles comes in. It should give parents a better idea of where their current parenting style fits in, and which style(s) may be the most beneficial for their child.
Quick Guide to Parenting Styles
Each parenting style combines different levels of warmth, empathy, engagement, control, and structure:
- Authoritative parenting combines a high degree of engagement and warmth towards the child, a firm structure, and clear boundaries. Not to be confused with…
- Authoritarian parenting, which combines low warmth, very strict rules, and an extremely high degree of control over the child.
- Gentle parenting combines high levels of empathy towards the child, respectful communication, and consistent limits. Not to be confused with…
- Permissive parenting, which combines a high level of warmth towards the child, a low level of structure, and few enforced boundaries.
- Uninvolved parenting combines a low level of warmth towards the child, a lack of engagement with them, and minimal, if any, structure.
- Helicopter parenting combines high involvement and high intervention on the part of the parent, and limited independence for the child.
- Velcro parenting is associated with high emotional closeness with the child and difficulty separating from them. It may also reciprocate to result in a ‘velcro’ baby or child.
Let’s take a closer look at each parenting style and see what the experts say.
What is Authoritative Parenting?
With authoritative parenting, parents are warm towards children, showing empathy and sensitivity. They aim to be good role models for the child. Boundaries are set through measured reasoning with children, and positive reinforcement is implemented to achieve desired standards. Punishments and threats for non-adherence to rules are avoided through such an approach, while cooperation and a level of age-appropriate maturity is nurtured.
Studies have shown that authoritative parenting has amongst the best outcomes for children, who tend to grow up academically successful, well-behaved, independent, and well-liked among peers and adults. Incidents of depression, anxiety and delinquency amongst children raised by authoritative parents are also low.
“Research suggests that the best-adjusted, best-behaved, most resourceful, and highest-achieving kids have authoritative parents — not authoritarian ones.” — parentingscience.com
Do not confuse Authoritative parenting (see above) with Authoritarian parenting (see below) — they’re quite different!
What is Authoritarian Parenting?
With authoritarian parenting, the parent uses a dictatorial style that requires blind submission and total compliance from their child. High standards are demanded, and non-compliance is punished. It is not a warm approach, in any sense, and rules are expected to be followed without explanation, dialogue, support, or debate. The parent is all dominant.
While children quickly learn the rules, they often learn through fear rather than through love, reasoning, or understanding. Children brought up in authoritarian households often develop mental health problems, low levels of confidence, low self-esteem, and reduced emotional expression.
“Authoritarian parenting has been linked with the development of mental health problems, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.” — parentingscience.com∞
What is Gentle Parenting?
At the heart of gentle parenting are high levels of kindness, respect, and empathy towards the child. Children’s well-being and happiness are nurtured. The relationship between parent and child is strong and, in many ways, this parenting style is similar to authoritative (N.B. not authoritarian) parenting. Structure and boundaries are clearly set, but they are applied gently, through reasoning, in a calm and measured way — without the threat of punishment. This is especially appropriate for the youngest children, who have not yet gained full control over ‘big’ emotions.
Children brought up under a gentle parenting style tend to feel nurtured, loved, secure, and emotionally supported. Their feelings are acknowledged and respected by parents, who reason calmly with them and give them choices appropriate to their age, all within clearly defined boundaries. With gentle parenting, it’s important to maintain those limits, however, otherwise there is a risk of this parenting style drifting towards the permissive variety.
“Gentle parenting does not equate to permissiveness. It involves setting clear and consistent boundaries while offering children age-appropriate choices within those boundaries. This fosters a sense of autonomy and helps children learn to make responsible decisions” — PositivePsychology.com∞
What is Permissive Parenting?
The permissive parenting approach is also sometimes known as ‘indulgent parenting’. With this style, parents are warm, sensitive, and emotionally responsive towards their children and, as one might expect, studies show that that’s good for them. However, permissive parenting is also associated with a lack of set boundaries and structure — and that can lead to problems. Because children of permissive parents self regulate, they may be perceived by others to be rather out of control, lacking in self-discipline, and falling short of the usual behaviour standards expected by most.
That said, children of permissive parents may turn out quite resourceful and have high self-esteem. And, because permissive parents prioritise happiness in their children, it stands to reason that they often have immense fun as they grow up. The lack of imposed boundaries can, however, be a double-edged sword — not least when it comes to things like safety, behaviour, and self-control. Indeed, some studies found that children brought up in permissive households can have disruptive behaviour and even elevated levels of aggression compared, say, to children raised in authoritative households.
“Permissive parents aren’t demanding. They don’t assign their kids many responsibilities, and they don’t encourage kids to meet adult-imposed behaviour standards. Instead, they allow — as much as possible — kids to regulate themselves.” — parentingscience.com∞
What is Uninvolved Parenting?
Uninvolved parenting (also sometimes referred to as neglectful parenting) is associated with a disconnect between the parent and child. There is little, if any, affection, empathy, or engagement towards the child, who is left very much to their own devices. Parents do not attempt to be good role models, and there is little or no structure and guidance for the child. This may be for a variety of reasons, for example, due to parental illness, the pressures of work, lack of other support, and so on. So, rather than jump to judging uninvolved parents, it’s important to first understand the reasons behind the situation and appraise the availability of potential help.
Studies indicate that children of uninvolved parents tend to have the least positive outcomes compared to those brought up under the other parenting styles. Children may have behavioural issues, lack emotional security, have low self-esteem, and perhaps have attachment struggles. On the other side of the coin, however, learning to grow up without parental support may force them to become very independent and, through necessity, good problem solvers.
“There is overwhelming evidence that kids need parental warmth to thrive. Nurturing, responsive parenting leads to better emotional, cognitive, and behavioural outcomes.” — parentingscience.com
What is Helicopter Parenting?
The term helicopter parenting is often seen in the press and on social media. It refers to a parenting style where the parent hovers over everything a child does, intervening constantly, and being deeply involved in everything the child does. Every move is micro-managed.
While this parenting style may result in the child feeling well-supported and protected by the parent, the child has limited independence and autonomy under this style. They may even have tendencies towards a feeling of entitlement. Children of helicopter parents may not have the space to fully develop skills like problem-solving, self-reliance, resilience, confidence, independence, and learning through trial and error. Some studies even suggest an association with later incidence of anxiety and/or depression.
“This intense focus can negatively impact a child’s mental health, self-image, coping skills, and more.” — Parents.com∞
What is Velcro Parenting?
Velcro parenting is another term that you sometimes hear about in the press and on social media. It refers to a style where the parent forms an unusually strong closeness to the child — emotionally, physically, and even socially. They constantly avoid separation from the child and, indeed, one of the results of this is that the child can sometimes reciprocate to become a ‘velcro baby’ or ‘velcro child’.
This parenting style forms close bonds between parent and child. The child is likely to feel deeply loved, nurtured, emotionally secure, and well cared for. However, an unintended consequence of this parenting style is that it can potentially lead to separation anxiety in the child, for example, when they start nursery or school. Children of velcro parents may also be lacking in skills like independence, resilience, and confidence.
“The problem emerges when parents stay too close for too long, which results in children and teens feeling less confident, more anxious and more dependent on the parent to make decisions or soothe every discomfort.” — Ann-Louise Lockhart, paediatric psychologist∞
Final Thoughts
So, from gentle and authoritative to helicopter, velcro, permissive parenting and more, today’s quick guide should serve to help parents better understand the key parenting styles that we hear about so often. By understanding them, parents can implement approaches that optimise confidence, independence, emotional well-being, and good behaviour in their children. That said, it’s important to understand that there is no single rulebook that fits every family, child, stage of development, or situation perfectly. What works beautifully for one infant may feel completely different with a more curious toddler, or an increasingly independent preschooler, for example. Parents may therefore not fit neatly into just one category. Many of us move between styles depending on the day, our child’s age, our own energy levels and what life is throwing at us at any given time. Today’s guide to parenting styles is therefore here to support knowledge, reflection, reassurance and confidence — not perfection.
Little Acorns Nursery, Padiham
High Quality Weekday Childcare Near Burnley
If you have a baby or child under five and need a high-quality childcare service in Padiham or near Burnley, Little Acorns Nursery would make a wonderful choice. At our lovely home-from-home setting, we nurture every child to bring out the best in them — to give them the best start in life. Rated as a ‘Good Provider’ by Ofsted, the nursery also supports free childcare funding for eligible families.
Interested in a nursery place at Little Acorns, Padiham? Get in touch using one of the following options to take the first step — we’ll be delighted to hear from you:
Our Padiham location, close to Burnley, may also suit families living nearby in Hapton, Rose Grove, Altham, Huncoat, Read, Simonstone, Sabden, Higham, or Wood End.
There’s something truly magical about childhood spent outdoors — the feel of grass under little feet, the thrill of climbing onto a rustic log for the first time, the delight in spotting a ladybird on a leaf, or precious time spent playing with friends. However, in today’s busy, screen-filled world, many children spend far less time outside than previous generations. For children in their early years — toddlers and preschoolers — this simple joy isn’t just fun; it is essential for learning, growth, and wellbeing. Today’s guide explores why outdoor play is so important and offers practical ideas for making it part of everyday life.
Being outdoors provides more than just fresh air — it encourages movement, sparks curiosity, inspires confidence, and helps children develop in a myriad of ways. Whether they are running across a playground, climbing a tree, or watching an insect on a leaf, children are learning about the world around them and practising skills that will serve them for years to come. Outdoor play is not an optional extra; it is a vital part of healthy early childhood development.
Young children need to build fitness, strength, coordination, and balance, and outdoor play is perfect for this. Running across open spaces, jumping over puddles, or navigating uneven ground all support fitness, muscular development, and bone health. Even small movements like digging in the garden or balancing on playground equipment help children grow stronger, hone balance and coordination, and become more agile.
Playing outside with other children is huge fun! It also teaches important social skills, such as sharing, taking turns, and cooperating. It also nurtures emotional resilience — learning to manage disappointment when a game doesn’t go their way, or the thrill of conquering a slightly scary obstacle, helps build confidence. Outdoor play also offers children a sense of freedom and independence, which is crucial for developing self-esteem.
Some parents may worry that they need large gardens or special equipment to provide meaningful outdoor play, but this isn’t the case. The simplest activities can often be the most rewarding. Jumping in or over puddles, drawing with chalk on the pavement, building things with sticks, or 
Outdoor play offers unique possibilities throughout the year. In spring, puddles, mud, and budding flowers provide endless opportunities for 
The best way to reap the benefits of outdoor play is to make it a regular part of your child’s routine. Even brief, daily sessions of outdoor activity have lasting benefits. Walks to the park, nursery, or school, time spent exploring a garden, or creating simple outdoor rituals like 
Today we bring you a guide to toothbrushing for under-fives, inspired by children at Little Acorns Nursery taking part in Lancashire’s Let’s Get Lancashire Brushing campaign. An initiative of Lancashire County Council Public Health, the programme is designed to educate and encourage young children, including toddlers, to brush teeth for 2 minutes twice a day using age-appropriate toothpaste. What’s more, their message is that it’s never too young to begin and can even start before the first tooth has surfaced. At Little Acorns Nursery, the programme is supervised by staff and is intended to take place in tandem with toothbrushing at home — it does not replace it. Nursery staff guide children to establish a positive and proactive routine around toothbrushing, to foster good habits around oral hygiene, and thereby minimise tooth decay and problems associated with it.
Primary school applications need to be submitted while the child is three or, at the very latest, has very recently had their fourth birthday. Because applications received on time are processed first, failure to apply by the due date means a child is less likely to receive an offer for their preferred school — places may no longer be available that late in the day.
Choosing a primary school for a child is an important step for any family. Somewhere conveniently close makes sense — and indeed is one of the most important criteria for offers, as we’ll see later. After all, you don’t want to be late dropping off or picking up your child because you’re stuck in a traffic jam miles away. Somewhere local will also mean your child has friends who are conveniently close by, which is another good thing. And, of course, if your child’s sibling already attends, then that school would usually be a natural first choice, assuming you’re happy with it of course.
While the eligibility criteria for school places are not identical for all locations, there are several factors that are fairly standard. For example, schools closest to a child and those where a sibling already attends are usually favoured. Children may also be more likely to be accepted at a school where a parent has worked for 2 or more years. Church/faith schools are often also more likely to accept children who share the same faith. 
Primary school offers are first sent, by email, to those who applied on time and included a valid email address on their forms. Offers to such families are released on the morning of the 16th of April or the next working day if that happens to fall on a weekend or public holiday. Others who supplied an email address on their application, but who applied late in respect of the 15 January deadline, will usually receive offers via email the same day, although later on. Others, without an email address specified on applications, will receive offers via Second Class post, so are likely to see offers later than the 16th of April. Some local authorities, however, allow people to log onto a portal to view offers from that date. Note that those applying ‘in-year’ receive offers on different dates to the standard ones specified above.
Eligible 2-year-olds can get a total of 570 free childcare hours during the course of a year. The entitlement is usually taken as 15 hours per week over 38 ‘term time’ weeks. However, families may wish to ask childcare providers if they can use the hours in a different way. For example, some may wish to stretch the hours out over 50 or so weeks of the year, in which case it would equate to approximately 11½ free hours per week. The nursery or childcare provider would need to confirm what’s possible. Any extra hours will need to be paid for by the family and the same is usually true for things like nappies, special trips and meals. Even so, 570 free childcare hours should really help families and may allow a stay-at-home parent to get back into the workplace sooner, even if only part-time.
Children aged two that live in England may be eligible if their parents/household are in receipt of one or more specific Government benefits. These include:
If none of the benefit-related criteria above applies, children aged 2 may still qualify for the childcare funding scheme in the following circumstances:
The last category of eligible claimants is some 2-year-olds living in England who are non-UK citizens, whose households cannot claim benefits and whose household income is below a certain threshold. Thresholds vary from £26,500 to £38,600 depending on how many children the family has and whether they live inside or outside of London.
